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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 13, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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team, i'm rick williams. thank you for joining us. we'll see you tomorrow. it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, patrick dempsey, bug expert dr. justin schmidt and music from tame impala. and now, here we go again -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> kevin: very nice. thanks, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. welcome to hollywood. this is where it all happens. some good, mostly -- hey, did you see what happened on "dancing with the stars" last
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night? something actually happened on "dancing with the stars" last night. [ laughter ] protesters interrupted the show to protest ryan lochte, upset that the olympic swimmer is part of the competition and decided to run onstage to tell everyone about it. this is what viewers saw at home. watch as judge carrie ann inaba tries to give ryan his score. >> you brought your best to this ballroom. you have a long way to go -- excuse me, hey, back off! excuse me! excuse me! excuse me! >> wow. okay. i'll tell you what. all right. we're going to -- we'll take a break. we'll get the rest of the judges' comments. take a deep brett. we'll be right back. >> jimmy: that's right. keep calm and bergeron. that could be a good shirt, print it up. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what they
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aired. this the producers of the show gave this to us. this is what the studio audience saw. >> excuse me. hey, back off! excuse me, excuse me. excuse me. excuse me. >> jimmy: that's one of the protesters. two men and four women. security took them -- that tackle sadly was the closest abc will ever get to having monday night football on the network. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the men were arrested on suspicion of trespassing or as they call on it "dancing with the stars," tres-passe doble. access hollywood got an interview with one of them who explained why he did this. >> what was your plan when you guys rushed the stage? >> you can see that lochte is a liar. he hurt americans in brazil. two of his own teammates were detained because he ran away and lied. >> how long have you been planning this for?
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>> i don't know the exact dates. but we want to publicize that this is a bad decision to have a liar be -- >> jimmy: then they blocked him out. good way to know you don't have to worry about in your life, if you decide to protest ryan lochte being on "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know? i mean, i get that he wants to see him punished, but i don't think this guy realizes, being on "dancing with the stars" is his punishment. [ laughter ] you'd think he'd be doing this if things had gone well? by the way, where were these guys when paula deen was on the show, when tom delay was on the show, warren sapp, floyd mayweather, o.j.? [ laughter ] o.j. wasn't on "dancing with the stars"? well, he will be with good behavior. alfonso ribeiro, who happens to be a former mirrored ball winner, was in attendance and offered this harrowing account of the events as they occurred. >> i had actually a front row
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seat. my instinct was to jump up and go. i got up out of my chair. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and didn't move. a lot of the celebrities i'm sure were upset, none of them more upset than vanilla ice. we obtained this exclusive footage. this has not been seen. of vanilla talking about the effect the disruption had on every member of the cast. >> some jerk comes out here and takes the fun out of the whole room. messing and hating with an olympic champion. this guy, ryan, he won't gold medal for america. okay? who cares about the stupid story? he was drunk, whatever. who cares? it doesn't have anything to do with anything. what matters is this guy is a hero and he came out here to dance. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you tell 'em, vanilla. [ cheers and applause ] a hero. he came out here to dance. i love this stuff so much, i really do.
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ryan lochte himself was a little shaken up. they asked him how he was feeling. he said, so many feelings are going through my head. no thoughts. but a lot of feelings. he was too shaken up to give his account of what happened. but cameras caught up with ryan today at the beach where he shared his version of that scary moment. >> the guy pulled out his gun, he docked it, put it to my forehead, he said get down, and i was like i put my hands up, i was like, whatever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll have to go back to the tape. hey, the los angeles rams made their season debut last night on monday night football. hey, it's their first game with the l.a. logo on their helmets. they were shellacked by the 49ers 28-0. i think that's good. i'll tell you, what's more l.a. than having your premiere tank? [ laughter ] we have a fun show for you tonight -- [ cheers and applause ] patrick dempsey is here. patrick is in the new movie
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"bridget jones's baby." dr. justin schmitt, an entomologist, he's known epffor being stung by bugs in order to record how much every sting hurts. they had a rehearsal with him today. our stage manager alec put a camera on alec for a second. it was his birthday yesterday. alec is very jumpy. you're a very jumpy guy. >> i'm a little bit jumpy, jimmy. >> jimmy: more than a little bit, you are the jumpiest person i know. there are olympic hurdlers who are less jumpy than you are. watch this. this happened at rehearsal today. >> now we're going to get it out of the jars. >> this doesn't do anything weird to me? >> no, they're pretty sure-footed. >> okay. i'm just going to put my hand flat. i apologize if i hurt this bug. >> don't panic.
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tickle? >> aah! get it off me! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. did it sting you? >> it didn't, it just kind of moved around. tickled its fancy. i went, aah sclabl. >> jimmy: do that again in slow motion, the fancy tickling that happened. >> aarrgghh! >> jimmy: oh my god. like if you have a bug in your house, does your wife go get it? >> i'm supposed to do it. i don't know. sometimes. >> jimmy: we've got to get you on a bear grylls show. that would be a great episode. we've got bugs coming. maybe you'll help me with that segment. >> happily, jimmy. >> jimmy: that would be great. the united states, i don't know if you're aware, is getting fatter. and not just civilians.
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according to data from the department of defense today, the u.s. military is heavier than ever. 7.8% of the military is considered to be clinically overweight. they're so fat, ryan can't find his privates anymore. [ laughter ] [ drumroll ] even the combat units are getting fatter. in 2001, only 1 of 60 combat troops was overweight. now it's 1 of 13. some navy s.e.a.l.s are said to be turning into navy wall ruleses. [ laughter ] [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: warming up for the emmys. in combat, overweight troops can be a liability because they can slow their fell he soldiers down and make for easier targets. for enemy troops. on the record, they're great to hide behind. [ laughter ] and for shade. you know, you don't always have a tree. this is probably not going to improve our physical fitness. walmart is said to be developing
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shopping carts that drive themselves. the way it works is you will hail a shopping cart with your smartphone and it comes directly to you, like a puppy. the carts can roll to the aisle that has the item you're looking for, see if it's there, and roll back to you so you can go get it. or just order from amazon and stay at home. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm sure it will be a fun thing at first. self-wheeling carts. i feel we're one step away from self-chewing mouths. it's great news for shoplifters. you can just fill up your cart and tell it to meet you at home. [ laughter ] in north carolina yesterday, a fight broke out at a trump campaign rally. either that or a trump campaign rally broke out in a fight. i don't know which came first. a trump supporter grabbed a protester by the neck and tried to hit him in the face. thanks got so violent some people thought they were at a taping of "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] donald trump of all the strange things he's done, and he's done
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a lot of strange things over the last year, this one is subtle but it's up there with the best of them. this is how he started his speech yesterday in asheville, north carolina. ♪ there ain't no doubt i love this man ♪ ♪ god bless the usa [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think he fondled the flag! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: say what you want about donald trump that man really loves america. so after the flag-fondling, he pulled off an interesting stunt. this weekend at a fund-raiser hillary clinton called half of donald trump's supporters a "basket of deplorables." which happens to be the least-popular item in the harry and david catalog. later she tried to walk the deplorable comment back. but while she was walking, she collapsed and had to be carried into her van. trump made a big deal out of
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this. and decided to bring some of his supporters up on stage to show the world just how un-deplorable they are. >> my wife and i represent non-deplorable people. >> i am probably a lot of things. deplorable is not one of them, i assure you. >> do i look deplorable? no. what? >> i'm up here because he gave me a hat. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sometimes that's all it takes. donald trump seemed to be gaining momentum lately, so we've decided to slow him down to half speed in tonight's especially hammered edition of "drunk donald trump." [ playing tape very slowly ] >> she even made her 13 different phones disappear and some of them she hammered.
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a hammer. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back, we ask kids to tell us how babies are made. and they did. so stick around. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ bonejangles met his match. mr. bonejangles was always looking for something. but he never found it. until one day... seven in dog time... exactly what he didn't know he was looking for fell right in his lap. was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price? no, of course not, he's a dog. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it. marshalls. your surprise is waiting. justice is spelled b-o-x. say hello to a powerful tool that gives you options to fit your budget.
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but so we don't have tormin wad to get clean. charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. it has comfort cushions you can see that are softer... ...and more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. enjoy the go with charmin. >> jimmy: hello, welcome back to the show. patrick dempsey, dr. justin schmitt, music from tame impala on the way. this is something every student and anyone who's been a student already knows, but they did a study about it anyway. according to a new international study, children made sex ed,
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they hate being taught sex in school. did you take sex ed? >> guillermo: yes, high school. >> jimmy: did you already know everything beforehand? >> guillermo: only a little bit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: only a little bit. you found it educational? >> guillermo: i did, yeah. >> jimmy: who taught it who you? >> guillermo: i think mr. castillo. >> jimmy: did he do a demonstration of any kind? >> guillermo: yeah, he had one of those plastic -- you know. female -- vagina. and, you know. so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the female vagina? >> guillermo: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've not to make sure you have the female vagina or the kids will get -- anyways, most kids hate sex ed, who wants to sit there with your friends like a p.e. teacher puts a condom on a banana? if you want to communicate with teenagers you have to speak their language, and their language is primarily emojis. here's how from now on we'll
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teach young people how babies are made. please join me at the wall of america. put the emojis up on the wall. when a man and a woman or a boy and a girl love each other very much the man puts his eggplant into the woman's doughnut and then two minutes later rolls over and falls asleep. [ laughter ] meanwhile, at that time the boy's sperm swims to the girl's egg. like ryan lochte but smarter. [ laughter ] and fertilizes that egg. and then they wait nine months. and at the end of nine months they panic and run to the hospital. and then one of these comes out of the doughnut. and they never fall over and go to sleep again. [ laughter ] any questions? [ cheers and applause ] you know, instead of adults teaching kids about sex, i think it would be less empairsing if
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kids learned it from other kids. we went on the street this afternoon and asked kids how babies are made. and we are very proud now to present the results of that inquiry for your education and pleasure. >> where do babies come from? >> ladies' tummies. >> the ladies eat the babies? >> no! they just get pregnant. >> how are babies made? >> um -- the downstairs goes into the girl's downstairs. >> do you know where babies come from? >>, a, b, c, d, e, f, g -- >> how are babies made? >> babes. >> from babes? >> they're from boobs. >> how are babies made? >> when moms and dad makes love.
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>> what kind of loser makes love? >> i don't know. >> do you know where babies come from? >> h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p -- >> how are babies made? why is it so funny? >> it's weird. >> what's weird about it? >> knowing that my parents have to do it. >> where do babies come from? >> uh -- uh -- >> explain to him. >> their mom -- >> their mom? >> tummy. i don't know. >> you don't know? explain to him how it works. >> me? >> yeah. >> uh -- like they come out of the vagina -- i don't know. >> who down how babies are made? >> yes. >> how? ♪ baa baa black sheep have you any wool ♪ >> how are babies made?
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>> gross. um -- >> why is it gross? >> because. it's -- it's -- eh, health. >> what do you mean, health? >> i'm not in fifth grade yet, i shouldn't know this stuff. >> what's so gross? >> um -- just -- where it comes from. i've seen "star wars." and it looks really gross and painful. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i must have missed that part of "star wars." but thank you, kids. tonight music from tame impala. dr. justin schmitt is here with bugs. we'll be right back with patrick dempsey! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by aflac. health can change but the life you love doesn't have to.
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(water splashing) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) ♪ fourteen americans killed in a san bernardino mass shooting... but after this tragedy - when pat toomey had the chance to ban suspected terrorists from buying guns - he voted against closing this loophole for terrorists - and with the gun lobby. katie: we have to do everything in our power to keep guns away from terrorists who threaten our way of life. i'm katie mcginty and i approve this message because we can't risk our families' safety on a loophole.
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he's a race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot. sage. donald trump is a phony, a fraud. he's not a serious adult. i can't vote for donald trump given the things that he said. trump should not be supported. i believe he's disqualified himself to be president. i just cannot support donald trump. >> jimmy: hi, there. tonight on the show, the author of this book called "the sting of the wild." this guy stung himself with more than 80 insects, and wrote a book about it. his name is dr. justin schmidt. he brought stinging bugs and
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tonight we're going to release them into our studio audience, ought to be fun. then, from perth, which is now in australia, their latest album is called "currents," tame impala from the samsung outdoor stage. sunday night on abc, i'm hosting the 68s annual emmy awards. [ cheers and applause ] we have been working very hard on this and have many fun moments planned. guillermo, who will you be wearing to the emmys? >> guillermo: whatever my assistant pick for me. >> jimmy: you have an assistant? >> guillermo: rodney. >> jimmy: rodney is your assistant? you have no input into what you're going to wear? >> guillermo: i let him choose. >> jimmy: wow, you have a lot of confidence and trust. you know our first guest from that show with the doctors and the movie where he couldn't buy himself love. next, he returns to the big screen in "bridget jones's baby." >> okay, i'm here! i'm here, i'm here.
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i can take from it here. i'm here. >> i got this. >> thank you. >> i got this. okay. okay. easy! jesus! take her, take her! >> got her, got her. >> don't drop her! >> jimmy: "bridget jones's baby" opens in theaters friday. please welcome patrick dempsey! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you! >> jimmy: very good to see you. calm down, you animals. calm down or we'll release the swarm of bees right now! where are they? i hope you don't mind me saying, you look more handsome than
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ever. >> thank you, you do too. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: how have you been? everything all right? >> been busy. been traveling the world, promoting the movie. >> jimmy: can i tell you something weird, watching that clip i thought, that must be the most beautiful bridge i've ever seen. >> gorgeous. >> jimmy: where was that? >> it was in london. >> jimmy: in london. >> i believe it's prince albert bridge. >> jimmy: does it always look like that? >> it always looks like that. >> jimmy: that's something else. >> i had a great time on that. it was nice just to be outside, not in a sound stage. >> jimmy: i would think so, yeah. >> beautiful. >> jimmy: it is nice. they close down the bridge? >> shut it down. >> jimmy: are you the father of bridget jones' baby? >> you've got to see the movie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that part of it? >> that's part of it. >> jimmy: then what, maury povich bursts in at the end? >> don't give it away. it's supposed to an surprise. >> jimmy: i ruin everything. >> yeah, i know. he was great to work with, amazing. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter? >> 14. >> jimmy: 14 years old. old enough to see this film? >> yes. well. yes. >> jimmy: she is? >> we went to the premiere
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together. >> jimmy: you did, okay. so she is. >> technically. >> jimmy: did something bad happen? >> the subject matter, in certain places i was a little nervous. more nervous than she was. >> jimmy: you must have been more nervous than she was. yeah, there's you with bridget jones and she's like, what the hell is this? >> right, yes. there are other movies that -- yes. you know. she's a freshman in high school. >> jimmy: she went to sex ed? >> yeah, they talk about all that stuff. >> jimmy: they did, good. how old are your boys? >> my boys are 9,000. >> jimmy: they did not see the film, i'm guessing? >> in england they're too young to go to see the film, so we had a private screening at the hotel. >> jimmy: for them? >> right. they lasted about ten minutes and checked out. they didn't get the movie at all. but they're here today. they missed soccer practice to see you. >> jimmy: oh, really, wow. >> they're big fans of your show. >> jimmy: that's the heart of my core audience. >> your core demographic, 10 and below. that's good, strong. >> jimmy: you're their soccer
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coach? >> i hope so. i have to appeal to the head coach. i've been missing games. >> jimmy: it's hard to have an acting job and be the regular coach. >> the game's this weekend, i'll be there for that. >> jimmy: what kind of coach are you? >> passionate. >> jimmy: screamy? >> extremely. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. i have to say that. >> jimmy: i'm going to tell your sons to spread that one around. >> i get very passionate, certainly. >> jimmy: do you? do you yell? >> i try not to. >> jimmy: do you have arguments with other parent in this. >> not the parents, the referees every now and then. >> jimmy: really. >> yes. >> jimmy: is it weed for them? >> they're not quite sure. >> jimmy: how old are the referees? >> all under the age of 15. [ laughter ] i feel that my age and my presence, i can intimidate them to get the call in the direction that i would like. >> jimmy: does that work at all? >> not at all. no. >> jimmy: have you ever been thrown out of a game? >> close. >> jimmy: yeah? that's embarrassing. >> it is.
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>> jimmy: getting thrown out by a teenager. >> yeah. it goes to show you. >> jimmy: what happened? you had words? >> well, sometimes they don't call offsides and you get a little upset. >> jimmy: i see. >> one kid camps out down by the goal and the game's going on up here. >> jimmy: it ruins the game. >> it is, and you want to teach the fundamentals. >> i'm exactly like that. >> you yell? >> jimmy: i try not to yell. more i spread the yelling out. but yeah. i was not a good little league coach/parent in general, yeah. >> it's funny how you get kind of -- >> jimmy: i would camp out in left field, and i'd stand there and coach my son while he was playing. shockingly, he gave up the sport very quickly. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i understand that now. >> jimmy: when you are coaching these kids, do you ever fool around with them? like do you make jokes or any of that kind of thing? >> i try to keep it fun so they enjoy it. >> jimmy: i found that's a big mistake. >> really? try and be more palestinianed? >> jimmy: i started with jokes
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and they thought, this is another idiot and we don't have to listen to anything he says. >> right. this is why we have a team of coaches. >> jimmy: i see. insulate you from that kind of thing. this is a photo from a magazine ca called "haute living." >> i know, yes. >> jimmy: i must know, are you really doing that? >> what do you think? >> jimmy: i don't know with you. you drive race cars. you're not averse to risk -- >> i'm not sure that's my bottom half. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> photoshopping. >> jimmy: is it? >> from here. that was it. >> jimmy: where were you? in front of a green screen? >> a green screen. >> jimmy: they told you to do this and you said yes? >> that's what i do in malibu. >> jimmy: oh, it's a good thing you didn't get stung by a bee at that moment. >> that's why my toe is pointed. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. it's been too long. >> it's great to see you.
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[ cheers and applause ] patrick dempsey, "bridget jones's baby" opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by aflac. health can change but the life you love doesn't have to. hold onto your forks. endless shrimp is back at red lobster. that means you get to try as much as you want... ...of whatever flavors are calling your name. seriously. like new garlic sriracha-grilled shrimp. it's a little spice... ...a little sizzle... ...and a lot just right. and try new parmesan peppercorn shrimp.
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when it comes to risking social sepat toomey wrote the book. .. "i'm...i've got a whole chapter in my book where i... specifically lay out how i think we should... reform social security." toomey's plan requires wall street and bankers to manage... the accounts. collecting fees out of your social security that could... total billions. fees they collect, even if the market crashes and... seniors lose everything. pat toomey's looking out for wall street, not pennsylvania. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising.
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? welcome back to the show. dr. justin schmidt and tame impala are on the way. but first, as the leading provider of supplemental insurance, aflac has been helping people protect their lifestyle for years. but many young people don't know why they need it. so we sent our pal guillermo undercover as a millennial to spread the word. >> guillermo: hello, my name is hash tag and i want to tell all the millennials like me that supplemental insurance is total radical. >> radical! >> my name is hash tag. >> your name's hash tag? >> yeah. what happen if you're at the fro-yo festival and you sprain your tongue? >> i don't know, what? >> aflac will give you money to help pay your bills. >> okay. >> isn't that dope? >> pretty dope, i've got to get some aflac. >> get you some aflac, that's right. >> awesome. >> internet router. >> okay. >> that's so dope! >> wi-fi!
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>> wi-fi! >> look, it's a millennial like me, hi. what happen if you break your legs while you're shopping online? >> who how do you break your legs shopping online? >> did you know aflac will pay you if you get hurt? >> by breaking your legs shopping online? >> right. how yolo are you right now? >> how yolo am i? >> yes. skateboard. >> he said skateboard! >> hey, millennials. aflac covers you when you're sick or hurt. who wants to take an instasnap? >> yeah, man, sure. >> all right, ready? aflac! >> aflac! >> don't worry, aflac has me covered! >> dicky: for more wisdom from guillermo go to >> jimmy: be right back with dr. justin schmidt and his bugs!
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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, music from tame impala. our next guest is probably the first entomologist we've had on the show. he's been stung by many insects, and he is here now to explain why. his book is called "the sting of the wild." please welcome dr. justin schmidt! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for being here. you've got a bug on your shirt. do you love bugs? >> who doesn't? doesn't everybody love bugs? we're going to make you a fine entom molt by the time we're done. >> jimmy: i'm scared when we have big animals but i'm not that scared of bugs. >> you're already an animal, just like me, i'm afraid of horses. >> jimmy: you are? >> big. have you ever seen the teeth on a horse? >> jimmy: they do have bigger teeth than your typical insect. >> that's for sure. they bite a lot harder too. >> jimmy: can i ask you a quick
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question before we ge started? personal question. i don't know what it is but i get bitten by mosquitos more than -- if i'm in a group, i'll get 10 times the amount of mosquito bites as anybody else. why is that? >> you're a hot-blooded american. >> jimmy: yes. >> they like people that are hot, particularly women. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. i don't know, maybe you're attractive. >> jimmy: theser horny little mosquitos. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i'm only attractive to mosquitos though. >> oh-oh. >> jimmy: you've been stung by how many? how many insects exactly? >> i don't know, probably 83 plus or minus a few here and there. >> jimmy: how does it work? >> more than any fingers and toes, i can't keep track. >> jimmy: what part of your body do you let them sting? >> they sting wherever they choose. >> jimmy: i see. >> if i had my choice i'd like them to sting me in the arm or the leg. not my nose or my lip or my eye. >> jimmy: has it happened that they've stung your nose, lip or eyes? >> oh, yes.
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you end up with a fat lip. i can't speak right now, my lip's big and fat. >> jimmy: are these controlled experiments? or are you out in the wild and get stung and write the experience down? >> it's pretty much in the wild. i think the only control is the wasp or the ant. >> jimmy: i see. >> not me. i'm not in control usually. >> jimmy: i see. >> i'm just there trying to do my thing. >> jimmy: you've made a chart which is called -- you named it after you, the schmitt pain index. who uses this chart? how did this come in handy? >> there's lots of practical uses. educators, to teach the children about the beauty of nature. it's really good for medical things so we can figure out, oh, boy, this really hurts but can we use this for stopping the pain? >> jimmy: so the honeybee, the sweat bee, the honeybee, is that the same thing? >> a sweat bee is a little tiny grayish bee. this feels kind of like a spark. you're walking on the carpet and touch your finger to the light
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switch? ahh! you get a little bit of a spark? it doesn't hurt very much, just enough to get your attention. the honeybee, that's a 2. the sweat bee is 1. >> jimmy: how many are there? >> 1 through 4. the 2 is the anchor, the honeybee. >> jimmy: the bull horn, acacia ant, it feels like someone fired a staple into your cheek or hand? >> exactly. >> jimmy: have you had a staple fired into your cheek or hand? >> i had one once. i had my hand underneath the stapler and whacked and yeah it got me that impression. >> jimmy: yellow jacket. feels like extinguishing a cigar on your tongue. you definitely haven't had that? >> no, i hope not. >> jimmy: so how do you know it feels like that? >> you don't. but you kind of imagine if that's what it was, that's good enough. >> jimmy: you just imagine -- by the way, i was attacked by a swarm of yellow jackets. >> i heard. >> jimmy: when i was a kid, i was about 8 years old, in brooklyn i jumped over a fence
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to get something. and my sister, both of us. we landed an old steak, a piece of meat somebody threw into a yard. i was swarmed. they chased me down the block. >> you were trying to steal their dinner was the problem. >> jimmy: that's right. i got stung 11 times. my uncle tony went out in the backyard and started bringing dirt up to the bathtub and they filled the tub with mud. was that a good thing to do? >> sure, that works. >> jimmy: it does? >> by the way, you got a sting rather than a 2, which is 1 yellow jacket, that makes it a 3. because 1 and 2 is 10. >> jimmy: i see. we have bugs here. we have this little box of dead bugs. should we bring out the live bugs instead? the live bugs are more interesting. [ cheers and applause ] do we have those over there? yeah, alec, did you want to be a part of that? >> what we have here, these are harvester ants. >> jimmy: right. >> as you kind of notice, there's red ones and black ones.
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>> jimmy: yes. >> two different kinds of harvester ants. which do you think hurts more? >> jimmy: i don't want to sound racist so i'll say red. >> very good. we've got the correct answer. >> jimmy: that's correct, yeah. i would be more scared of the red ones. but they both hurt. >> oh, yes. the difference is the black ones only hurt for four hours. >> jimmy: okay. >> if you imagine you get stung, imagine somebody taking needle nose pliers and digging underneath your skin, grabbing tendons and nerves and ripping at them, for about four hours. that's the black one, milder, it's a 3. the red one, you get the red one, it goes on eight hours. you get the bonus, no extra charge. >> jimmy: i see. did you bring these on the plane from tucson? >> oh, yeah, of course. >> jimmy: you did? >> i can't bicycle fast enough to get here from tucson in time. >> jimmy: you checked these? >> i said i'm with insect zoo coming on the jimmy kimmel show, and everybody says wow, of course that's legitimate. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah.
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all right. let's see what else you got over there. >> these are some of my favorites. >> jimmy: what are these? >> these we call the jesus christ wasps. >> jimmy: when people see them they go, jesus christ! >> that's one reason. they'll feel it if they get stung. the other reason is they're like a helicopter, they land in the middle and go buzzzz, land, tank up with water, and up. >> jimmy: just like jeelss usus to. [ laughter ] >> exactly. it's a lot safer than being on the edge with things that are going to eat you. >> jimmy: these aren't going to get out, are they? >> we can open the jar. >> jimmy: no. >> doesn't the audience want to see them in the air? they're very flight-worthy. >> jimmy: i'm sure they're great, yeah, we'll take your word for that. what else do you have? >> these guys in contrast to the other ones -- >> jimmy: you've been stung by this? >> unfortunately, yes. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> would you like to take a look at them? >> jimmy: no, no, no!
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>> you sure? >> jimmy: yeah, no i don't. >> look how beautiful. >> jimmy: what if they fly out? >> these aren't very acrobatic. >> jimmy: famous last words. >> you can stick your hand in and pet them if you want to. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> no? >> jimmy: yeah i'm just go ahead -- slide those over there. what are these? >> these are tarantula hawks. they eat tarantulas. >> jimmy: oh, wow. oh, good. good job, guys! [ laughter ] >> tarantula is a much better pet than this is. >> jimmy: it is? >> a tarantula won't bite. >> jimmy: bad job, guys. >> gals, by the way. >> jimmy: i've insulted them, great, the guys are nice, sweet, loveable characters. >> you have one more for us? this is the one that along electric freaked out about. >> this is a vinegaroon. >> jimmy: why are they called vinegaroon? >> they spray vinegar.
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you favor vinaigrette salad dressing? these smell a little bit like that. oh, yum! want to eat them. >> jimmy: this is going to spray me if i hold it? >> probably not. [ laughter ] >> here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: which side do they spray from? >> you're looking at the business end right there. [ laughter ] you better be in good behavior or else she's going to let you know. >> jimmy: don't worry, i'm not going to move a millimeter. >> see, you're already getting converted, we'll make you an entomologist soon. >> jimmy: i doubt it but thank you very much, doctor. dr. justin schmidt here from tucson promoting the book, "the sting of the wild." they do smell like vinegar. we'll be right back with music from tame impala!
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. for senate, a clear difference. katie mcginty: for background checks, for banning assault weapons, and banning high-capacity ammunition clips. and pat toomey? against an assault weapons ban and against banning high capacity ammo clips like those used in the orlando massacre. listen to pat toomey brag: "i have had a perfect record with the nra." pat toomey gets an "a" from the nra. he's not for you. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising.
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank patrick dempsey, justin schmidt and bugs. and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first their album is called "currents," here with the song "the less i know the better", tame impala! ♪ ♪ ♪ someone said they left together i ran out the door to get her ♪ ♪ she was holding hands
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with trevor not the greatest feeling ever ♪ ♪ said, pull yourself together you should try your luck with heather ♪ ♪ then i heard they slept together oh, the less i know the better ♪ ♪ the less i know the better oh my love, can't you see yourself by my side no surprise when you're ♪ ♪ on his shoulder like every night oh my love, can't you see that you're on my mind ♪ ♪ don't suppose we could convince your lover
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to change his mind so goodbye ♪ ♪ she said, it's not now or never wait ten years we'll be together ♪ ♪ i said, better late than never just don't make me wait forever ♪ ♪ don't make me wait forever don't make me wait forever oh my love, can't you see yourself by my side ♪ ♪ i don't suppose you could convince your lover to change his mind ♪
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♪ i was doing fine without ya til i saw your face now i can't erase ♪ ♪ giving in to all his [ bleep ] is this what you want is this who you are ♪ ♪ i was doing fine without ya til i saw your eyes turn away from mine ♪ ♪ oh, sweet darling where he wants you said, come on superman say your stupid line ♪ ♪ said, come on superman say your stupid line ♪ ♪ said, come on superman say your stupid line ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, jonbenet ramsey's brother breaking his silence. >> i was scared, i think. >> speaking out to dr. phil about the night his 6-year-old sister was murdered. his family living under a cloud of suspicion but cleared by prosecutors. new crime scene video and revelations from his police interrogation. 20 years later the question remains, who killed a beauty queen jon benet? full-figured fashion. christian soriano breaking the bold, featuring plus-size models in his runway show. why he says most designers aren't measuring up when it comes to clothing american women. so quells are often a little tortured. but this is down right masochistic. the new trailer for "50


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